her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize