The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
