we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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