I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
