Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
