Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we made out on top of his cat.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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