i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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