But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
