Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize