i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
