This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
