Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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