Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
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Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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