90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize