Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize