Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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