I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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