I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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