okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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