areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
