the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
