Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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