you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize