Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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