Sry I called you an 8
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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