you would pick up someone in the library
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
