haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize