handjob tips. give me some.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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