Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
