also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
