UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
