Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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