ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
