I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
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You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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