The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
my poor anus
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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