do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize