im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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