the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
