Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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