We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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