I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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