oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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