ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
