Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize