Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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