ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
