so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
