Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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