Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
