I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
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