I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
please don't ironically join a cult
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