just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
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Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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