I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
