apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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