We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I would ride that face into the sunset
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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