You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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