sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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