If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
